13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

I saw this article and thought it was great. I've outlined these thirteen things and have included my own thoughts.

1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves

Fair or unfair, it just doesn't matter.  I actually have no idea why people waste their time thinking about it.  Why waste your time and energy on things you cannot control?  Life is life, and it isn't always fair.  One thing I've realized is that every gift can make me soft if I don't watch out and every challenge makes me stronger. Everything can be turned into a positive with the right attitude.

2. They Don’t Give Away Their Power

Nobody can control me, just like I can't control others.  All I can do is control my reaction to any situation.  I own my own actions in every situation.

3. They Don’t Shy Away from Change

The only constant in life is change.  The ability to adapt and learn new thing is required in life to be successful.

4. They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control

This is one of the most important keys to success.  By eliminating everything outside of your control and only focusing on what you can impact, decision making and resulting actions become much easier.  See #2 above.  All mental energy should only be put to what I can control.  Everything else just "is," and there is nothing I can do about it, so why worry.

5. They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone

If you come from a good place, and are saying what people need to hear, how people react is not my issue, it is theirs.  This was one of the hardest lessons for me to learn, but over the years I have come to understand that as long as my intentions are good, that is all I can control.

6. They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks

I have had people be shocked at how conservative I am, while being a risk taker.  To me it is all about the odds.  I have faith in the product and my/our ability and will take risks (new products, starting Rising, etc.), but I never risk (1) more than I can afford to lose and (2) never do it where the projected outcome is not positive.  For example, if we put $10,000 into a product that has a 10% change of making $1,000,000, this risk may be very likely to lose the $10,000 but the projected return is 10-1.  These are odds I would likely take if we have cash and no better options.  On the other hand, if cash is tight, I may choose to invest in a lower expected rate of return, with a much higher success rate.  Calculated risk is required and good.

7. They Don’t Dwell on the Past

You cannot change the past so why waste energy on it (again, focus on what you can control, and the past is not part of that equation).​Learn from the past, but don't dwell on it. Mistakes are made by everyone who tries hard.  Trying is necessary to achieve success.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained.  Therefore, failure is required for success.  You cannot change the past and mistakes in the past pave the way for success, so beat yourself up over it?

8. They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over

I have always said, I do not mind people making mistakes.  I want people making mistakes, or else it means they are not trying hard enough or looking for opportunities (aka - taking calculated risks).  I have two rules.  (1) The risk was made "trying" to do the right thing. There has to be good intention and a good thought process.  (2) Don't repeat the same mistake again.  My reaction the first time is "let's learn."  If it is done over and over, that is a signal of someone that does not care, or has an inability to learn.  

9. They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success

This is the number one factor I see in people that are exceptionally successful versus those that are not.  Are you a mountain climber or a king of the hill person?  Let's face it. You are who you hang out with.  If you want to get ahead in life, and enjoy life to the fullest, you need people around you that will help you and root for you.  To get those people in your life, you have to be one of those people.  You have to help and root for them to be successful.  That means your friends will do well, in fact, better than you at times.  That makes me ecstatic.  I am so happy for everyone who does well.  I am inspired and challenged by them.  I learn from them.  I never ever, ever feel resentment.  For that reason, I think successful people want me around.  It is so rare for them to have people root and help them, they crave it.  They in turn, often do the same for me.  Mountain climbing is all about rooting for others' success.

10. They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure

Thomas Edison said "Success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration."  This is true.  If you don't fail, you have not tried hard enough.  Think of anything in life.  Lifting weights - you go until you fail, and you try the same weight again next week until you get it.  If you quit, you never get stronger.  Everything in life is the same way.  Persistence is required to get ahead.

11. They Don’t Fear Alone Time

I need social time, but I also need quiet time.  I recently re-learned this.  I went on a 3 day fishing trip.  I joined a trip in process.  Nobody spoke (they had all worked together for a week before I got there - they had nothing left to say).  I was going nuts for a while.  Working on deck, cutting bait, etc.  I could not hold still.  Then, after about 8 hours I entered a trance state.  I sat in the crow's nest and watched the curvature of the earth (could see only the chimney of boats and eventually the whole boat appeared).  I started seeing clearly solutions to issues that had bothered me.  I saw where the market was going.  I saw answers to how I wanted to raise my children.  By the end of the 3 days, I came away with a very clear understanding of things to improve in life.  I now try to create large periods of "white space" where I can let all the information I have absorbed bounce around in my head and fall into place.

12. They Don’t Feel the World Owes Them Anything

Entitlement is an evil, evil thing.  I watch it creeping into our society and our culture every day.  I want nothing more than the opportunity to prove my worth and be rewarded commiserate with my value.  I only respect people that expect the same of themselves.

13. They Don’t Expect Immediate Results

Rising is still working on items that I envisioned when we started it in 1999.  Fourteen years later, and some of  my vision is just NOW starting to get built out.  This is the tip of the iceberg compared to where we can go (and the foundation).  I still see years of work to get the foundation work done, no matter how I prioritize the projects.  I know life, and client demands, will pull resources.  I just need to make sure we are moving towards the long term ideal where we can change the world.  It does not happen overnight and I cannot lose sight of what it can be.

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